Friendships are difficult in fiction, just as they are in real life. Often they can be a little more toxic for one person than another. No relationship is ever even but friendship, like marriage, often needs to compromise, and sometimes that doesn’t take place.
Though Sam and Frodo spend the entirety of The Lord of the Rings together, which is an experience that, no doubt, should bond people, their relationship never truly evolves into one of friendship, but rather remains in the territory of employee and employer or, maybe, a little bit of hero-worship. Still, it’s not a particularly healthy friendship on the page or in the book, no matter how it pulls at our heartstrings to watch it.
Sam is Frodo’s Gardner
Let’s start at the beginning, Frodo and Sam are not on even footing when we meet them. Sam is employed by Frodo as his gardener and, had he not been caught spying under the window would likely never have heard about Frodo’s trip nor agreed to accompany him.
There’s already a problematic power dynamic, with Frodo being Sam’s employer, when they set out on their journey (that they initially believe will only be to Rivendell). Obviously that’s not the whole journey and, unfortunately, we don’t get to see their relationship develope into a healthy friendship from there.
Not a Helping Friend
In the first Lord of the Rings book, The Fellowship of the Ring, some friends arrive at Bag End to help Frodo as Bilbo packs and the birthday party nears. While Mary and Pippin, and two other hobbits, are mentioned, Sam is not one of them. this helps to highlight the difference in their relationship before they set off to Rivendell, and later to Mordor.
Sam was not considered a friend, but just the gardener, at the beginning of the tale, or he would have been seen at Bag End before Gandalf found him below the window.
They Don’t Have Fun Together
Watching Mary and Pippin’s relationship alongside Frodo and Sam’s further highlights the difference between the friends (Mary and Pippin) and the employer/employee relationship of Sam and Frodo. While Mary and Pippin are seen laughing and getting into mischief together, Sam and Frodo are all work.
Obviously Frodo has quite the job ahead of him, but even as they treck to Rivendell, unsure of how difficult their job will really be, there is little joking or friendly banter between Frodo and Sam as there is between Mary and Pippin.
Mr. Frodo
Sam calls Frodo “Mr. Frodo,” from the very beginning, and he doesn’t change his form of address. Even as they sit just below the entrance to Mount Doom Sam asks, “Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo?”
Even after all their time together, and all the trials they’ve been through, Sam still calls Frodo “Mr” and Frodo never asks him to change to a less formal means of address. That should make anyone uncomfortable if we’re trying to claim the Sam and Frodo had a real friendship. There’s still quite an uneven power dynamic between the two all the way at the end.
Cooking and Cleaning
Sam not only carries all their supplies as they head off alone toward Mordor, but he also does all the work when it comes time to use those supplies. Not once do we see Frodo do any of the cooking on their long journey to Mount Doom.
Sure, later on, he is in no shape what so ever to be of assistance (thanks a lot One Ring) but even in the beginning, we don’t see Frodo lift a finger. He’s very much the boss and Sam very much the lackey. It’s an awkward situation to try and build a real friendship.
Frodo Leaves Sam in The Fellowship
At the end of The Fellowship of the Ring, we watch as Frodo jumps into a boat and begins to row away from the orcs and his companions. Perhaps he thinks this is best, that he’s saving his companions by leaving them behind, but if Sam and Frodo really had the relationship we all wish they had, would this have even been possible?
Would Frodo really have not even left a note or tried to explain to his “best friend” Sam why things had to be this way? It’s definitely something for fans to think about.
Frodo Leaves Sam in The Return of the King
If we were hoping to see Frodo and Sam’s relationship build over time, the fact that Frodo again abandons Sam in The Return of the King should read as somewhat problematic in a healthy friendship.
Obviously Gollum and the ring are a huge factor at this point but seriously? This is not at all a healthy relationship for Sam who keeps putting in all the work and still gets kicked to the curb.
Frodo Listens to Gollum
As Gollum enters our lives as a real character in The Two Towers one would hope that Frodo would take Sam’s advice, and his worry seriously, you know, because they’ve been together so long, and Gollum’s new, and he and Sam are the real friends.
Well, not exactly. Frodo is super into trusting Gollum and letting him lead their little expedition to Mordor and Mount Doom. One would have thought that this employee/employer relationship had grown enough in the direction of true friendship that Frodo might take Sam’s misgivings into account, but he doesn’t, so there’s that.
All the Heavy Lifting
We have already discussed all the supplies Sam has to schlep on his person, enough for both Frodo and himself, but then he also has to carry Frodo. He can’t carry the burden of the ring, but he can carry “Mr. Frodo.”
This is an epically heroic thing to do, but it once again highlights the onesided relationship (which is not a friendship) between the two hobbits. We know Sam will be able to carry Frodo because we’ve watched him literally carry everything else. This is a moment that highlights Sam’s heroism, not a healthy friendship.
It’s All a Promise
Remember that beautiful moment when Sam wades out after Frodo’s boat as Frodo is trying to leave in The Fellowship of the Ring? Remember how he’s going after his friend because he loves him so much it doesn’t even matter that he can’t swim? Yeah, let’s revisit that scene.
Do you remember what Sam says to Frodo once he’s pulled safely aboard? “I made a promise, Mr. Frodo,” he says. “Don’t you leave him, Samwise Gamgee.” Yeah, that’s right. Sam is honest, true to his word, excellent and heroic hobbit. But that is all about Sam. Not about a friendship that didn’t really exist in the first place.
